"I know it feels like its too soon and that's why its just a promise ring but if you can't accept it, I understand."

"I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment. I don't even know where we stand as a couple."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, you were so distant from me and those few weeks killed me. I've never cried over a boy before, Will, and I just don't think giving me a promise ring is going to take away the pain I felt, the emptiness you left me with."

"Oh." His eyes fell to the ground. I felt tremendously guilty for ruining this wonderful moment. This wonderful yet inappropriate moment. I watched him put the ring back in the box. "Will you at least think about it?"

I could feel tears forming. "I have to go." My phone started vibrating in my handbag. I checked the caller i.d.

"Who's that?"

"Alex." Shit. Great timing, huh? "Hey Alex, I can't really talk right now. I'll call you tomorrow."

"You're still talking to him?"

"Unlike you, he opens up to me." I shouldn't have said that.

"What the hell are we doing then, Jasey?"

I sighed heavily. What am I trying to say? What do I need to say? I feel like there's something caught in my throat. "I'm sorry I said that. It came out catty. Can we just, can we just start this night over?"

He hesitated, as if he was thinking of something to say. "I had plans. If you had said yes, I had a plan."

"You did?" I looked into his eyes. He stared at the open box, the ring shining reflections of the lantern's light, and nodded silently. "Tell me?"

Will looked up. "Come here," he replied softly. As I took the few steps towards him, he put the ring box in his pocket, and then put his hand on my face gently. I breathed a heavy gasp of air as my heart fluttered at his touch. I looked at his arm, tracing it back to his face. His eyes screamed of an unspoken pain. As he leaned in, I closed my eyes and waited.

His lips were soft, cautious. I kissed him back, more fiercely than I thought I had in me. With his other hand, he pulled me closer. I dropped my handbag and swung my arms around his neck, letting myself get caught into the moment.

He pulled himself away and I caught my breath. My insides twisted, a yearning I've never felt before trying to get out. I couldn't tell if it was mind, heart or soul that was trying to scream out but regardless, I wasn't sure how to let it out. I looked down, grabbed my handbag and fixed my dress. Will reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Do you want to see the rest of my plan?"

I nodded. He kissed my cheek. I let go of his hand so he could turn the lantern off. I was curious as to what his whole plan was and what was going to happen next. When he finished, we walked back to the street. "Where are we going?"

"My house."

Will's P.O.V.

We got to the bottom of the stairway. My parents were staying at a hotel for the night since they planned on staying the whole reception. We had the house to ourselves and all I had to do was light the way.

"Okay, go to the kitchen and get the champagne out of the refrigerator. There are champagne glasses in the cabinet over the sink." She nodded and made her way into the kitchen. I took out my lighter and started lighting the candles on the steps. The whole stairway was lit with those Glade candles, vanilla scent since that was the scent she used for her body spray. When I got to my bedroom, I opened the door. The rose petals were still spread everywhere, the bigger box in the middle of my bed. I lit the candles all along my desk, headboard and window sill.

"Will? Can I come- oh sweet Jesus..." I ran downstairs to find Jasey staring at the trail of candles, her mouth wide open. "Wha-"

"Surprise. I'll take those. Stay here." I grabbed the two glasses and the bottle she had in her hands and ran them upstairs. I came back down and she had taken off her heels. She looked up at me and I nodded. I grabbed her hand and led the way up the stairs slowly. When we got to the top of the stairs, she noticed the larger amount of light and followed it. When she got to my room, she gasped.

"Oh, Will. All of this was for me?" Her face changed from surprise to sadness.

"Jasey? What's wrong?" I grabbed her face and looked into her eyes. She had started crying, tears running slowly on the sides of her cheeks.

"I didn't say yes. I don't deserve this. I didn't say yes," she repeated. Her tears came out at an even pace now. "I'm so sorry, Will. I'm so sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so-"

"Jasey, calm down. Stop crying, please? It's okay." She sniffled.

"What do you mean 'it's okay'? It's not okay."

"Look." I pointed to the wide, rectangular box in the middle of my bed. "See that box? That's for you. Go get it and I'll pour us a glass of champagne. I promise, it'll be okay."

She walked to the bed, reached in and grabbed the box. She stared at it for a few seconds then started to open it. When she pulled out the book, she looked at me, as if she was asking permission. I nodded and she flipped open the cover.

Jasey's P.O.V.

Picture after picture after picture of me. Some prints were in black and white and some were in color. Each picture, more poetically beautiful than the other. The sequence of them told a story about a girl. Not only were they in a sequence, they dated back to when I first moved here in sixth grade. I could tell by the subtleties in my face, the expressions, the details of me as I matured in the pages.

"Pictures of me?" I turned to Will. He was walking towards me with a glass of champagne. When he handed me a glass, I sniffed it.

"Is something wrong with the champagne?" He frowned.

"No, I've just never had any before." I took my glass and took a sip. Will started giggling. "What's this photo album for? Why are they all pictures of me?"

He stopped laughing. "I told you, one day I'd let you see the collection of photos I had of you."

I looked back and flipped through more pages. When I got to the last few pages, they were of us together, us and friends. I wondered what gave him the patience to wait for so long. "Wow."

"I hope you don't think I'm like a stalker or anything. I've just, you've always been beautiful to me."

I put the album on the bed, walked over to his desk and put the glass down, then walked up to Will and kissed him. My hands started playing with his hair, his hands grabbed my waist and pushed me away. I stared at him, waiting for him to ask me to stop. Instead, he reached behind me and pushed the album onto the floor.  He looked back at me with a hunger in his eyes.

"Come here," he whispered hoarsely. I walked back up to him and grabbed his face as I forced my lips onto his. He kissed me back twice as hard and soon enough, we were both gasping for air in between kisses. I started playing with his hair again as his lips moved from my lips to my neck, trailing kisses on the way down.

I let out a slight moan of pleasure, my stomach tingling from the high of excitement he was giving me. I started to remove my sweater, my bare shoulders exposed from my strapless dress. Will stopped and looked at them. He put his hand on my left shoulder and started to caress my skin tenderly. I watched his eyes and wondered what he was thinking.

It was in that moment that I realized what I'd been trying to say. The words I couldn't find suddenly blurted out before I could even form a sentence. "I love you."

Will stopped in his tracks and looked into my eyes. "What did you say?"

"Um. I just. I said, I love you."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I mean, yes." I could see Will struggle to find the right expression for his face. "Ask me again."

"Ask you what?" I lightly put my hand on his pocket where the ring box was.

"Ask me again. Please." Without hesitation, he pulled the box from his pocket, and opened it. He removed it from the box, placing the box on the bed, then grabbed my left hand but waited.

"Jasey Rae, with this ring I promise to give you my heart, in its entirety, for as long as you'll have me." He paused and I smiled. "Will you, Jasey, please accept this ring? My promise?"

"Yes." Will smiled as he separated my ring finger from the others and slid the promise ring on. "But..."

"But?" Will looked at me, confused.

"But, by accepting this ring, I'd also like to make a promise. I want to promise you my heart in return as well, William Beckett. I want you to have my heart for as long as you desire."

Will kissed me again. "I will always want you, Jasey," he whispered in between breaths.

The next morning...

I woke up to the sound of a phone. I found the source of the vibrating and answered it, not even checking to see who's phone it was. "Ello?"

"Who's this?" a girl demanded.

"Who's this?" I grumbled back sleepily.

"Will?" she asked in a confused tone.

"Yeah," I groaned back. "What?"

"It's Holly. Why do you have Jasey's phone? Where's Jasey?! Did you murder her last night?! I swear to God, if you so much as pulled a hair from her he-" I heard rustling on the phone.

"Will?" I recognized that voice instantly.

"Yeah, Gabe?" Jasey stirred on her side of the bed. She flipped her body, facing me, and squinted as she tried to open her eyes. When she was able to focus, she smiled. "Good morning, beautiful."

"Will, where's Jasey?" Jasey giggled. I pulled the phone away from my ear and looked for the End Call button. "I hear her giggling! What did you guys do last-" Click.

I couldn't take it. I left the dance without saying good bye. Holly and Gabe were dancing while I sat alone.  Not worth the anguish of seeing happy couples slow dancing and making googley eyes when I have the opposite of that.

William's P.O.V.

I stared at my reflection. I knew better but was so caught up in planning the perfect night for her, for us, that I completely forgot about my aunt's wedding. I took a deep breath, took a quick glance at my phone then decided it was time to get back to the reception.

My mom found me before I even made it half way to our table. She held out her hand and waited for me to take it.  It was awkward dancing with my mother but it's what she wanted and dad never was much for it.

"I've already asked your aunt and she says it's okay if you want to leave and catch Jasey at the dance."

"You asked her? How does she know about Jasey?"

"Just because you don't talk doesn't mean we don't see, William. I've heard you singing and playing your guitar. She means a lot to you, doesn't she?"

"Yeah, she does. I think I'm falling in love with her, Mom, only I think it's too soon to tell."

"Well, when you think about her, what do you see in your head?"

"All I see is me and her together."

"Sounds to me, it's pretty close. But, only you can figure it out. Now go, before your aunt gets offended that you stayed. Just tell her 'goodbye' first."

I nodded and made my way on the dance floor to my aunt, dancing with my new uncle. "Aunt Stella, can I talk to you really quick?"

"Sure. Edward, we'll just be a second." Her husband nodded his head, smiled and asked a random guest to dance in the meantime. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I just talked to mom and she said that you're okay with me leaving?"

"Well duh. Just because we're not close, William doesn't mean I don't care about your well being and your happiness. Now go, get your girl," she said, smiling. I gave her a hug, a wave to my new uncle, and then I was off.

Gabe's P.O.V.

I looked at our table. It was empty. Jasey was gone and so was her hand bag. She left without saying a word. "Shit!"

"What's wrong?" Holly asked, no longer dancing.

"Jasey left without saying anything."

"Oh no."

My phone started ringing. It was Will. "Hey dude."

"Did Jasey go with you and Holly to the dance?"

"She did but now she's gone. We just looked over to our table and noticed it."

"Damnit. Where was she going?"

"No idea, she left without saying anything."

"Okay. You and Holly stay there. I'll find her, it'll be okay. Tell Holly not to worry."

I turned to Holly. Will said he's going to look for her and for you not to worry. She gave me one of those "yeah right" faces and rolled her eyes.

"Okay," she sighed.

"Be careful, okay dude?"

"Yeah, I'll call you later." Click.

Jasey's P.O.V.

I didn't know where I was going. I just kept walking. Eventually, I ended up somewhere I least expected, Will's secret gazebo. I took my phone out of my handbag and used the background light to search for the lantern. Once I lit it up, I put my phone away and started looking around. There was sheet music everywhere, a guitar in the corner and a single rose next to it.

"Oh. I shouldn't have come here."

"I'm actually glad you did." I jumped at least five feet and turned around. Will was walking towards me in a tux. "You look amazing."

I blushed. "Thanks. Why are you here?"

"I was hoping to find you here. I called Gabe and he told me you had left. I don't know why I thought of the gazebo but something told me to try finding you here. Looks like I made a good call."

"Well, since you've found me, I guess I'll go home now." I started walking but Will grabbed my hand. I stopped. "Please let go."

"Just give me one minute, to explain."

"Explain what? Why you don't want me anymore?"

"You've got the wrong impression, Jasey. I want you more than words can express."

"Recent actions prove otherwise."

"I'm sorry I had to cancel on you. My aunt got married just a few hours ago, I had completely forgotten about it. She actually told me to leave so I could go to the dance, to dance with you."

"You were at a wedding?" He nodded. "That's why you didn't, couldn't go to the dance with me?"

"Yeah. I should've told you and I'm sorry you were sad."

"Its my fault for assuming something so foolish." He kept holding my hand as he walked towards the gazebo.  I followed, afraid to let go.

"I need to show you something." We stopped at the edge, the light from the lantern shining on his features. I looked into his eyes and realized how much I'd missed them. He pulled out a little box from his pocket. I recognized the box immediately.

"What are you doing with my ring box?" I've had that box since I was little, it was my favorite. Holly gave me a ring when we were kids, a plastic toy ring of course, but I kept it. I told myself that I'd keep it for my engagement ring, that I would need to hide it somewhere while I was famous and off singing on my world tour.

"Just, bear with me." He opened the box and there was a silver band with one single diamond in the center. I stared at the ring, and then looked up at William. "I've been distant these past few weeks and I'm so very sorry for hurting you. I needed time to think, to be sure of what I was feeling."

"And what exactly is that? What do you feel that makes you need to show me a ring?" He pulled the ring out of the box and put the box in his pocket. He took my left hand and waited.

"Jasey Rae, I'm falling in love with you. I'm probably already in love with you. I just want you to know that I'm here. This ring is a promise."

"A promise?"

"Yes. I promise to give you my heart." He waited for me to respond but I wasn't sure I could. "Jasey, will you, please, accept this ring, accept my heart?"

its a few minutes before ten. i should be getting ready for bed, not online and watching a trailer. i'm not sure what to make of it except compare it to its' predecessor and hope for the best. regardless of my judgement, its the underlying reason for my dwelling that's making me think, feel, blog.

i see you. i see me. it's outside in your driveway and staring at the stars. we used to talk about everything on nights like that. really, it didn't matter where we were because we talked about everything no matter where we were. maybe that's why i never understood how our communication was so unbalanced, so wrong.

like the character you remind me of, the prince in my story, you've distanced yourself and i notice the distraction. then comes the moment when you break free and leave me clean, standing alone and lost in a stupor. i can't think, i can't breathe. my whole world has just crashed.

you always send me into a spiral. you're not around and i'm fine, i promise. i know it doesn't seem that way since i'm always nostalgic but if you paid any attention to what i had to say, if you just once weren't "kinda busy" and spent time with me, maybe you'd see that all i do is think about things.

i miss our long talks. i miss your stupid jokes. i miss the faces you make when i have a good burn. i miss the way you hugged me, whether i was coming or going. i miss my best friend, the one who will always know me best.

i don't know who you are now. i'm not sure i ever knew at all. i think a part of me knew that it was all a fantasy that i'd created in my head, maybe that's why things worked out so well in the beginning but ended harshly in the end. then again, maybe it was just fate's funny way of telling you "fairy tales end for a reason, dumb ass!"

nobody reads my blogs anymore. supposedly, you'll read every once in a while. it doesn't matter anymore, i know these entries are here and maybe that's why i still bother writing them. i was never good at keeping a hand written journal so this is the next best thing, the closest i'll ever get to therapy, i suppose.

i've lost my train of thought. i keep doing that everytime i have a purpose. perhaps, that's the whole idea of it though, that i don't have a purpose. it doesn't matter anymore, nothing matters anymore. i should stop thinking all together but when you're stuck in a rut, trapped in the well and so deep that you're barely touching the surface... maybe all you have left is thoughts to keep you going.

its been six months and i'm still at a stand still, like it was day one. i'm moving on and that's only because he's not around. he's always "kinda busy" and i always get "kinda" let down, "kinda" disappointed, "kinda" heart broken. he makes me loathe myself, for loving him and putting faith in him. i won't say he was a mistake, the mistake was trusting myself with him again. i know i'm stating the obvious but i'm hoping that if i repeat it to myself, if i keep reminding myself how much i consistantly keep torturing myself over him, maybe it will sink thru and i can let go on my own and not just because he's never around, not because he's always "kinda busy".

i want to be inspired. i want to be appreciated. i want to be admired. i want to be wanted. i want to be needed. i want to be loved. is that too much to ask for?

isn't that what i deserve?